The Camel with the Wrinkled Knees

I have fond memories of Raggedy Ann books when I was growing up.  Her sweet heart always helped them find their right path and made a difference in the lives of those around her.  I wanted to be like her. Then I moved on to Nancy Drew and wanted to be her too.  (Now you know where two of my personalities come from... LOL!)

Anywho...one of the books was called Raggedy Ann and the Camel with the Wrinkled Knees. I have not thought of that book in more years than I care to count, but it is strangely appropriate at this point in my life.

I have always thought it was a good thing to be "comfortable in your own skin" and have struggled with various identity crises (lots of crisises!) through my life.  It is my skin, the only one I'll ever have, so I darn well better get used to having it, eh? I had actually, almost, finally reached that point of self-acceptance when I discovered something quite unexpected, disheartening and yet hilariously "there":

I have wrinkled knees!

I am not sure when this knee-tastrophe happened but obviously I was so busy this last semester at school that I just flat missed the signs of those impending wrinkles! I have heard of many a wrinkle-woe in my time and always thought that people were really making a big deal out of nothing, but now a more personal knowledge of time racing by at a snail's corvette pace is weighing heavily upon me ... and on my knees as well.

I am surely not the first person to ever "wake up" and discover an "overnight" change in their body, but seriously!!  This is just too funny.

OK, so it's not that funny because then I noticed a few dimples in here-to-fore smooth places and some laugh wrinkles that stay laughing long after I've stopped.  I used to wonder how so many women could just wake up one day, look in the mirror and wonder, "Who the hell is that old woman looking back at me?"

How could you not notice changes to yourself??  Don't you get dressed every morning and put makeup on in front of a mirror?  Yes .... but, as I've so recently discovered, that's why God gives us slowly fading eyesight so that we can still face ourselves in the mirror, say, "I'm good" and go out to face the world with a smile on our face.  Now if we can just avoid all mirrors for the rest of the day, until the next morning...we are good to go!

Seriously, I make myself "up" each morning:  Up to the task.  Up for each moment. Up for the duration. Up to the challenge. Up to caring.

Those are the things that really get me through the day! ...and avoiding mirrors is always on that agenda as well as I let my smile and heart show who I really am.

Movies Reflect Life...Sometimes, eh?

Well. This is my venture into blogging.  It will be a pondering through and about the things I have learned in my journey.  Not even sure with whom I will share it's existence, but since I do want feed back I will send the address to a few close folks.  So, here goes my first ponderings:

Just finished watching "Dakota Skye" (which I cannot recommend to young ones because of the sex and the drugs) which is about a 17 year old who can see the truth behind every single lie anyone tells her.  Personally, I do not think I would survive this "power" intact.  She chooses to become apathetic and just go with the flow.  However, several lines really caught my attention.

“Sitting between your past and your future, doesn’t mean you’re in the present.”  ponderings by Dakota Skye

So deep and yet... what?  Interestingly enough that make good sense to me.  If I focus on the past neither my present or future take me where I want/need to go.  Same with the sole focus on the future.  Sitting, obviously, will not get me where I want to go either.  Seems to be a really good quote for a discussion.  Anybody up for it?

“Knowing your problem doesn’t solve it.”   Dakota Skye

Amen sister!!!  I know exactly what my problem(s) are.  It's the steps to fixing them that are in the way!! lol...somtimes though it is more of a col (crying out loud--in mortal anguish).

“I’m lost. In your eyes, I see the way for me.”  song from Dakota Skye.  

This was from the song playing over the credits at the end.  Isn't this what we all search for?  Someone to really "see" us.  To love us as we are and yet to grow with us through all the speeds that that entails?  Some growth is snail slow and some quicker.  I mean I know exactly what I need to do for "this" problem and yet I do not wanna!  I think this is because problems are multi-layered.  Each layer with it's own life challenges.

To top it all off...the "cute" "wholesome" looking guy in the movie turns out to be some really really weird looking dude in real life.  I 'd never heard of him and went to see what else he has done.  Didn't even recognize him. What a bummer.  Brought home to me, again, that what is presented to the public is so, so, so far from who we really are.  For many reasons.  I have tried my whole professional life to be who I really am and for the most part have succeeded. But there are always those parts that we hold back because we want to be accepted in the group we are with at the time.  

I do not drink or do drugs or follow the "Baptist" way.  This "stigma" has left me outside many groups who, while they profess to be my friends, do not choose to socialize with me.  Painful for a people person who is forced to be a loner.  Guess I am similar to Dakota in that I have problems with people not being real and who are so concerned with escaping reality that they cast off their current present (and me)  as well.